How to avoid power struggles with stubborn kids

When kids get stubborn, adults are tempted to turn up the heat by making demands, raising voices, making threats, and showing we mean business. To stubborn kids, that’s a challenge they would love to take you up on.

To reduce the chance of a power struggle, here’s a Love and Logic tip:

1. Approach slowly as if you haven’t a care in the world.
2. Ask nicely, “Will you ______________, just for me? Thanks!”
3. Act cool, turn tail, and slowly walk away.

Research has demonstrated that the odds of getting into a nasty power struggle with a kid dramatically decrease when we’re no longer around them. The true science has to do with expectations and the fact that people will live up to…or down to…the ones we communicate. What expectation do we send when we ask someone to do something and then stare at them? The message is clear: “You’re not going to do this for me.”

In contrast, what expectation is sent when we make the very same request yet move away? The message is far more positive: “This is a win-win situation. I know you’ll help me out.”

Read the rest here.

Originally posted 2016-01-27 17:06:51. Republished by Blog Post Promoter

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