October 29th, 2019
A story was told of a parent that called a national radio show about her son. He had apparently been skipping class and was past the point of a mandatory failing grade, but had used a deception to skirt the rules. When the parent found out, she called to seek advice about how to help her son avoid failing.
Parents are often tempted to look for ways that minimize the pain their children experience, even when that pain was caused by their child’s poor choice. But separating a consequence from an action is not the best way to show love to a child. Minimizing that pain now makes it more likely that the child will experience increased pain in the future as he repeats the same mistake over and over. A wise parent lets their child experience the logical consequences of their choices, and then shows them love through the situation. Said another way, a wise parent “can either stand between his [child’s] bad decision and the consequences, or she can stand beside him, supporting him as he learns from it. She can’t do both.”
Here’s a better response to the class skipper:
“What a sad situation, Toby. How do you want to confess? Do you want to do it in person, in writing, or would you rather have me help you by going with you to the principal’s office? I bet you might like a hug right now. I know that I do.”
Letting a child learn from their mistakes before the consequences become serious is the most loving way parents can handle the problems their children cause.
Originally posted 2016-10-18 13:45:47. Republished by Blog Post Promoter