MrHowd.com

Originally posted 2017-04-19 18:56:26. Republished by Blog Post Promoter

“Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better.”

– Samuel Beckett, writer

Originally posted 2015-03-21 08:47:30. Republished by Blog Post Promoter

When kids get stubborn, adults are tempted to turn up the heat by making demands, raising voices, making threats, and showing we mean business. To stubborn kids, that’s a challenge they would love to take you up on.

To reduce the chance of a power struggle, here’s a Love and Logic tip:

1. Approach slowly as if you haven’t a care in the world.
2. Ask nicely, “Will you ______________, just for me? Thanks!”
3. Act cool, turn tail, and slowly walk away.

Research has demonstrated that the odds of getting into a nasty power struggle with a kid dramatically decrease when we’re no longer around them. The true science has to do with expectations and the fact that people will live up to…or down to…the ones we communicate. What expectation do we send when we ask someone to do something and then stare at them? The message is clear: “You’re not going to do this for me.”

In contrast, what expectation is sent when we make the very same request yet move away? The message is far more positive: “This is a win-win situation. I know you’ll help me out.”

Read the rest here.

Originally posted 2016-01-27 17:06:51. Republished by Blog Post Promoter

When children get themselves in a bind, whether it’s forgotten homework, a lost permission slip, a left-behind lunch, or something more serious, parents usually have a strong urge to solve the problem for their child. The parent swoops in to save the day, and the problem is gone. But the child just learned that my parent will solve my problems for me, and that problems aren’t really that uncomfortable. They missed a chance to learn that actions have consequences.

Self-confidence, responsibility, character, and resiliency all find their foundation in the same place. They grow out of the opportunities children create when they make poor decisions and are faced with the consequences that follow.

Wise parents over-ride their own natural tendencies to rescue or to tell kids how to deal with these opportunities. If they don’t, the opportunities are lost. Over a period of time, youngsters start to believe that others are smarter and more capable than they are.

Jake called his dad from college to say that his car had been towed. He tried to explain that it wasn’t his fault because the parking sign was not easy to see.

Dad replied, “Oh, that is sad. What do you think you are going to do?”

“Well, Dad, I was thinking you need to send me $200 so I can get the car out of the impound lot.”

Wise parents don’t rescue kids from their mistakes

Keep reading to find out how Dad responded.

Originally posted 2015-11-11 10:23:34. Republished by Blog Post Promoter

Do you know a strong-willed child? Someone who wants to run the show and lets everyone around them know it? Here are some words of wisdom:

Avoid getting on the same level

Kids with this personality will do a variety of things to bring us down to their level…or actually reverse the roles. These include arguing, nasty looks, passive resistance, etc. Remember: If a child can pull me into a debate or argument, I am no longer the parent.

Establish privacy boundaries

These children feel entitled to be involved in every conversation and every activity. When they aren’t, they create chaos to bring the focus back to them. “This is our time” or “This is a private conversation between your mom and me” or “You may stay with us as long as you aren’t interrupting” are very important boundaries.

Let your authority outlast theirs

Many children train their parents to stop setting and enforcing expectations. They do so by arguing, screaming, or yelling every time a limit is set or something is asked of them. No matter how difficult it may be, please show them that you will remain loving and strong. You’ll never regret this.

Read the rest here.

Originally posted 2015-12-16 16:36:22. Republished by Blog Post Promoter