If you really want to do something… 

Originally posted 2016-07-16 08:18:47. Republished by Blog Post Promoter

Right, not easy

Originally posted 2017-04-19 18:56:26. Republished by Blog Post Promoter

Progress

Originally posted 2018-02-11 13:49:35. Republished by Blog Post Promoter

A healthy way to solve problems

It might be funny to watch a dysfunctional family on TV, but it’s not fun being a part of one, says Love and Logic in a recent article. Researchers have studied what makes families happy and healthy, and one important discovery has been who family members talk to when the have problems:

  • In healthy families, Mom talks to Dad when she is upset with Dad.
  • In unhealthy families, Mom talks to the kids when she is upset with Dad.
  • In healthy families, Dad talks to Mom when he’s upset with Mom.
  • In unhealthy families, Dad talks to his friends when he is upset with Mom.
  • In healthy families, Junior talks to Dad when he wants something from Dad.
  • In unhealthy families, Junior talks to Mom when he wants something from Dad.
  • In healthy families, Junior talks to his teacher when he doesn’t understand an assignment.
  • In unhealthy families, Mom and Dad talk to Junior’s teacher when Junior doesn’t understand an assignment.

The pattern is probably clear by now. Healthy communication involves going directly to the party involved in the problem, rather than involving a third party. The shortest distance between two points is a straight line, and quickest way to a solution means going to the person involved. Read the whole article here.

Originally posted 2017-04-13 13:35:36. Republished by Blog Post Promoter

Paying for misbehavior

Love and Logic tells the interesting story of a child that saved up money received from his grandma. His parents helped him use the value of a dollar to learn the value of good behavior:

Money wasn’t the only thing he saved. He also stored up lots of energy for when Mom and Dad went out. In fact, so much energy that he wore out every babysitter in town.

Mom finally convinced a sitter to work with her to help Junior realize the error of his ways. The deal: If he was good, Mom and Dad would pay for the sitter. If he wasn’t, he paid. This got his attention.

And I bet you can imagine how the next babysitting session went!

Love and Logic suggests using natural consequences like this to teach responsibility. You might be able to find several places you could use this in your family:

  • Parents pay for good dentist visits, and children pay for the bad ones if their cavities are caused by not being responsible to brush their teeth.
  • Parents pay students to complete some chores (Dave Ramsey says to call this a commission, not an allowance). What if they don’t do the chores? They don’t get paid. Maybe they even pay their parent or sibling to do the chore that they were supposed to do.

What about paying for grades? People disagree about if parents should do this, with some saying paying for grades is like adults getting paid for work. That’s close, but adults are paid for hours worked, not usually on the results of a certain product. So you probably shouldn’t pay for grades.

But if you’ve already started or committed to paying for grades, research shows that if you stop, your student will likely not work as hard for their grades. So you might need to continue for a while, and if you do, this Love and Logic tip might apply. Parents pay for the good grades, and students pay for the bad ones, especially if you have evidence (missing assignments, students not doing their daily homework time, arguments) that they didn’t try their hardest.

Again, paying for grades should not be your top way to motivate your student. If you don’t pay for grades, don’t start now. But if you do, try the tip from this article. And certainly with other areas of your student’s responsibility, look for ways that a student’s greedy little heart for cash can teach them that their actions have consequences.

 

Originally posted 2016-10-03 06:18:15. Republished by Blog Post Promoter