When you fail

Originally posted 2016-10-08 20:41:36. Republished by Blog Post Promoter

Teaching Selflessness

It’s a trap to think that in order for us to be happy, we need to put ourselves first. Scientists have evidence that one way to increase happiness is to be thankful and grateful:

The video above gives one easy way to put others first by making a “gratitude chart.”

Here are some other ideas from Love and Logic:

  • Make sure to love your student in a selfless way.
  • Teach them to serve you and their family. “Do your kids have a list of contributions (a.k.a. “chores”) that they need to complete by various days or times of the week? Are you holding them accountable for failing to complete the duties by the prescribed deadlines? Are you doing this with empathy… rather than anger, lectures, threats, or bribes?”
  • Expect tangible mini acts of service. ” Should our children be seated when older adults have to stand? What wonderful lessons can be learned when we expect them to rise and offer their seat to someone else? Are your kids holding doors open for people? When in line are they offering someone to go ahead of them? Are they offering to carry something for someone who is struggling?”
  • Allow boredom. “Since they have a phone or tablet, and have constant access to videos as their parents shop or do similar less-than-stimulating things, they are being entertained. When we do this, are we stealing from them? Might this practice be contributing to the number of young people who have absolutely no impulse control skills?”
  • Limit exposure to popular media. “Are the relationships portrayed in most television shows, modern movies, and other media, the kinds we want our kids emulating?”
  • Community service… as a privilege not a punishment. “Too frequently “community service” is viewed as something only done by drunk drivers and others who’ve broken the law. In a Love and Logic home, community service is not designed to be a punishment… it’s intended to be an opportunity… a privilege. It’s intended to be seen as an opportunity to be part of something important, needed, and noble.”

Read the full article here.

Originally posted 2017-11-13 17:36:31. Republished by Blog Post Promoter

React vs. Respond

The American College of Pediatricians has a good article about the difference between reacting versus responsding to kids.

Reacting means that you meet your child’s emotionally-charged behavior with your own emotionally-charged reply. Responding, on the other hand, gives your child permission to express their big emotions, ideas and feelings without criticism, shame or guilt.”

Read the rest here.

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Originally posted 2016-04-11 19:47:00. Republished by Blog Post Promoter

The importance of self-control

Have you heard of the Marshmallow Test? Here’s an idea of what it’s about:

Researchers at Stanford created this simple test measure self-control in a student. What they found is that two-thirds of the students couldn’t delay their gratification to wait for something better. But one-third of those students did show self-control.

And after many years, researchers checked-in with those students to see how they were doing. Every single one of them were successful! It seems that their ability to show self-control helped them focus on what was important and to delay gratification. That helped them focus on the “big picture,” persevere through difficulties, and to steer clear of negative choices.

So what can we learn from this? Self-control and waiting for what we want is important. It’s something worth trying to develop at school and home. See if you can find ways to help your student learn to wait for what he wants: TV shows, video games, playing, using technology, snacks. If students can learn to wait for small things now, they may be able to use this self-control in bigger more important issues later.

Here’s another video about this research.

Originally posted 2016-09-19 17:45:28. Republished by Blog Post Promoter

If it’s important

Originally posted 2018-06-17 22:46:46. Republished by Blog Post Promoter